Alexander Rhodes, Freedom Fighter
by Foosemittee
Summary: Alexander Rhodes, fighter of injustice, works his way through television, fairy tales, and almost everything else. His mission? Awesomeness.
1. Glee Is Defeated

It was the only school shooting that made the world smile. McKinley High. All of the students…were dead. Apparently some Kings of Leon fans got together with die-hard Paul McCartney lovers who also happened to have a deep respect for The Killers, and all hell broke loose. It started with Alexander Rhodes—leader of the musical revolution—the rebel with a cause worth fighting for.

It began on a Tuesday. Melinda Rhodes, age ten, was watching Glee in the family's living room. Her older brother, seventeen-year-old Alexander, arrived home.

"What are you watching?" he asked, grimacing in distaste at the sight of two middle-aged people making out. "And why are these people dressed like cheerleaders?"

"It's _Glee,_" she replied. "They _are_ cheerleaders." Shocked and horrified, Alexander sat down to see what the fuck was going on.

After sitting through three episodes, he saw the Killers song performed.

"Oh, _hell_ no," he growled, heading to the nearest computer to research this travesty. He learned of the fact that the Glee people were putting pressure on Kings of Leon to let them use one of their songs. The Kings, awesome dudes that they are, were refusing. Proud but downtrodden, Alexander wondered what he could do to keep this thing from happening—classic songs were being taken out of context and used to tell stories about whiny, bratty teenagers with totally unrealistic plot lines and dialogue. He knew what he had to do—start a Facebook group.

…

Alexander organized the attack. The set of Glee was bombed, and oddly garbed freedom fighters ran rampant through the backlots, setting fire to any documents that allowed Glee to use songs by anyone with actual talent and great hair. Needless to say, Glee can keep using Justin Bieber if it ever gets back on its feet—but no more Killers. No more classics. Never again. Oh, and they'll need a whole new cast, because everyone except the Very Potter Musical guy and the gay kid got murdalized.

The End.


	2. Cinderella

It was a cold, dark night. Ella stood by the hearth, draped in rags, sobbing. Suddenly the door opened to the little cottage. Ella, hopeless and forlorn, was sure that she was going to be murdered. It didn't matter—her life was over anyway; there would never be another ball. The face that peered through the door was that of Alexander Rhodes, rebel and inciter of riots. He was bleeding from a gash in his forehead but other than that, he was a fairly handsome young gentleman.

"Sup," he muttered, bustling into the house. Ella stared.

"Are you…are you here to help me?" she asked, sniffling. He glanced at her and chuckled.

"Nah thanks, I like chicks who shower," he replied, rifling through a drawer. "You wouldn't happen to have any ink lying around, would you?" Finally finding what he needed, he grabbed the bottle of ink. "Now to get this to the printing press," he growled, storming out purposefully.

"Wait!" Ella called out, following the handsome teen into the streets. "What are you doing?"

"If the prince thinks he can just line up all the women in the kingdom and pick one for a wife regardless of her wishes, he's got another thing coming," Alex replied. "My posse and I are making posters—y'know, stuff that says 'Rebel' and 'Democracy' and junk like that. This is pre-1600s Wales, and if we don't get this straightened out, we'll be under England's thumb forever—and I, personally, do not want that man-whore Henry ruling this country." Ella stopped, staring, as Alexander Rhodes strode off into the night.

"Posters?" she muttered, standing in the middle of the street. "Democracy?"

…Let's just say Cinderella wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.


	3. Bill Gets What He Deserves

Alexander Rhodes stood in front of the bar. Being seventeen, he was not allowed inside. Due to the fact that he was awesome, he was calmly and patiently waiting outside.

"That kid's been standing out there for over an hour," the pretty blonde waitress commented, looking at her boss. "Should we call Andy?"

"I'll go out and see what he wants," a man sitting in the corner volunteered. The waitress glared at him and went back to the kitchen. The man went out anyway.

"Bill Compton?" Alex asked, holding a hockey stick he'd picked up somewhere. The man looked surprised.

"Yeah? What do you want?" Alex frowned.

"Stop being such a dick," he growled. Then he bonked the century-old vampire on the head with the hockey stick.

"What the fuck?" Bill grabbed for the hockey stick, but Alex threw it as a diversion, ducked into his VW bus, and sped off into the Louisiana sunset.


	4. A Most Embarrassing Message

Yawning, a girl named Emily looked out the window to see a shadowy figure hiding in the bushes outside her friend Hannah's house.

"What…who's that?" she asked frantically, turning to her friends that were gathered around the kitchen. Spencer, one of the bravest of the four, rushed outside. She was tired of the whole deal and wanted to know who was stalking them already.

"What do you want?" she growled when the figure didn't run away. She then blushed, realizing that the shadowy figure was a tall and rather attractive guy she'd never seen before. He looked to be about seventeen.

"I didn't want to come here, okay?" the guy growled, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "My sister made me do this." Spencer stood there, looking confused. Finally, Alexander Rhodes blurted out his message. "Tell Aria that Ezra's a total nerd and that Jason's hotter anyway." Then he was gone.


End file.
